Sunday, June 18th, 2023
GPSD Men’s Soccer Divisional Championship
Toffee Club vs Army of Darkness
3:00 pm

Army of Darkness

The creatures that came to be known as THE EVIL ONES originated from the souls of naughty boys that were desecrated by the darkest pits of Hell itself. Discovered by the ancient demon “Kandar the Destroyer”, he learned to unite these cursed spirits and unleash them upon the world of the living.

These EVIL ONES are a hostile species of undead parasitic demon spirits that feed on the souls of the living and possess their wretched earthly bodies to unite in a quasi-militant soccer force. This “team” is known as the ARMY of DARKNESS.

Initialism: AoD [ey-oh-dee]

AKA: The Evil Ones, Kandarian Spirits, Deadites 

Never to be referred to as “Darkness”, “The Darkness”, or “Army” alone.

GK1	“Boomer the Pork Freak” Watson
2	“Blood’n’guts” Leib
3	“The Stinger” Minger
7	“Nate the Impaler” Otani
8	“Toe Tag” Yarne
10	Anders “The Cap” Johnson
11	“Black Sky” Stevenson
12	“The Regal Plague” Hunter
13	“Holes” McConnell
16	“Slippery Matt” Evensen
17	“Maniac Mikey” Rodrigues
19	“Chainsaw” Garrett
20	“Bad Bod” Caleb
22	“Bonecrusher” Cudahy
23	“Guzzlord the Killer” Pottebaum
24	“Savage Slick Rick” Carmolinga
26	“Ivan the Butcher” Caceres
28	“Slash” Scherschligt
29	“Meathook” Munoz-Garcia
30	“Slaughterhouse” Broderick
31	“A-A-Ron the Tormentor” Liersemann
33	“Akira the Cruel” Mendez

Managed by Kandar the Destroyer

1. What style of play do you want your team to play? How are you planning on setting up? 

AoD will line up in a 4-3-3, possess the rock and eat their souls.

2. You gave up just 7 goals in 10 games. What has contributed to that success? 

Merciless evil-doer Deadite studs on the back line and a Kandarian demon goalkeeper with prodigious claws on hind and fore feet.

3. On the flip side, Toffee Club averaged 3.1 goals per game (3.6 in their games against the other teams), what makes them so strong offensively?

Youthful speed up top and composure behind them.

4. What was your takeaway from the first two matchups? 

AoD is the best team in the league this season.

What are your keys to success? 

Swift consumption of souls.